


Lance Mcclain's Steamed Goo

by Introverted_Cupcake_x



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aurora Borealis, Dinner, Kitchen fire, Lance/Keith if you squint, Meme, Memes, Oneshot, date, steamed ham, yes I went there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 18:23:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13816860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introverted_Cupcake_x/pseuds/Introverted_Cupcake_x
Summary: Lance invites Keith for an unforgettable luncheon, but then disaster happens and the lies keep on piling. Will Lance be able to carry out a successful lunch date without ruining it? Spoiler: Of course!





	Lance Mcclain's Steamed Goo

**Author's Note:**

> I love memes too much.

One sunny day, Lance busily zipped about the castle ship’s only kitchen when he heard the doorbell ring and his face perked as he quickly rushed out into the dining area to open the door, seeing Keith standing there in his Blade uniform while holding a bottle of some sort of alcohol.

“Well, Lance, I made it in spite of your directions,” he sighed. Lance smiled brightly and gestured to the table behind him..

“Ah, Marmora Blade Keith, welcome! I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!” he said with a wink.

Keith rolled his eyes, going ‘meh’ as he stepped inside to sit at a finely-decorated round table, plopping the bottle into a bucket of ice. Meanwhile, Lance hummed to himself when he stepped into the kitchen and almost screamed.

Smoke was rising from the oven through the gaps in the door and vents.

Hurriedly looking through the glass, he sees a large blob of green goo burst into flames and he gasped.

“Oh, quiznak! My goo is ruined!” he exclaimed, paling, but then he looked over at the fridge with a note taped on the door, with the words ‘DO NOT TOUCH MY GOO -Hunk’ scribbled on it. Lance hummed and rubbed his chin with a thoughtful frown.

“But what if… I was to use ready-made goo and disguise it as my own cooking?” he chuckled darkly to himself, “delightfully devilish, Lancey~”

He reached over and gripped the handle when the door opened and he held back a startled gasp as Keith stood there with a suspicious frown and put his hands on his hips.

“K-Keith!” he spluttered, quickly glancing between the Blade, the smoking oven and the cool fridge, where his hand is still grasping the handle. “I-I was just doing some exercises! Isometric exercises! Care to join?” he babbled, forcing a grin.

“Why is there smoke coming from the oven, Lance?” Keith asked blankly. Lance shivered and let go of the fridge..

“O-oh! That’s not smoke! It’s uh…” he gulped, smile wavering, “steam! Steam from the steamed food!” He quickly rubbed his own stomach, nodded, “Mmm steamed food!”

Keith just rose an eyebrow, but turned and left and the cute cook sighed in relief, but wasted no time quickly yanking the fridge open and grabbing Hunk’s pre-prepared goo.

\---

Sitting at the dining table, Keith prepared a napkin when Lance entered carrying a large silver platter of goo with the proudest smile on his face.

“Keith, I hope you’re ready for some mouth-watering goo!” he said, placing the platter down. But Keith blinked.

“I thought we were having steamed food?”

Lance chuckled at his confused face. “Oh, no, goo is still food! Goo-d food! That’s what I call delicious goo!” But Keith frowned.

“You call goo… ‘good food’?” he said, wishing that he was being dismembered by a Galran soldier.

“Yes!” Lance chirped, “it’s a regional thing!”

“Uh-huh… what region of space?”

“The Milky Way! Our first home!” the brunette answered confidently, but the fighter made a disagreeing noise.

“Really? Because I’m from the same galaxy as you and not everyone would call this goo… ‘good food’.”

“O-oh no, it’s uh…” Lance stuttered, “...an acquired taste!”

“Uh… I see,” Keith nodded and they both started eating. Minutes later when the food is almost done, he gave the goo a curious close look.

“You know, this goo tastes an awful lot like the goo that Hunk makes,” he remarked and Lance laughed.

“Oh no, it’s patented Mcclain steamed goo! An old family recipe,” he winked.

“...For steamed goo.”

“Yes!”

“Uh-huh, and you call it ‘steamed goo’ despite the fact that it’s obviously grilled.” To prove his point, he showed Lance the telltale lines of food that was placed on a grill.

Lance paled, thinking over the past hour and all the regrets he made in life as he stammered, trying to think of the best lie to keep this charade in the hopes that Keith will confess something to him, while at the same time wiping his mouth with a handkerchief to get rid of non-existent goo stains.

“U-uh well… you see, uhm…” Keith’s stare only made him more uncomfortable. He coughed and stood up. “E-excuse me for one second.” And quickly left to go to the kitchen. Keith shrugged and took off his napkin when Lance reappeared specifically one second later, stretching his limbs with a yawn. “Aaah well that was wonderful! Good times was had by all, I’m pooped!” Keith stood up and nodded.

“Yes, well, I should be-- GOOD QUIZNAK--” he burst, eyes wide and pointed at the smoke seeping through the gaps in the kitchen door. “--WHAT is happening in there?!” Lance froze and simply replied:

“A-Aurora borealis?”

Keith’s eyes almost popped from his skull.

“A-AURORA BOREALIS?” he spluttered, “AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE GALAXY, LOCALISED ENTIRELY WITHIN THE CASTLE SHIP KITCHEN?”

Lance nervously gulped and said with a smile; “...Yes.”

Keith relaxed, stunned.

“...May I see it?”

Lance’s eyes shifted to the side with a hum before looking at him. “No.”

…

Leaving the dining room to one of the docks where Keith parked his ship, the intercom suddenly crackled into life and Allura’s voice echoed.

“PALADINS! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE!”

Lance quickly yelled at the camera nearby; “No, princess, it’s just the northern lights!”

Keith coughed uncomfortably and said; “Well, Lance, you’re still an odd guy, but I must say…” He smiled softly and the blue paladin almost fainted. “You steam a good goo.”

Walking to the ship’s cockpit, the intercom switched on again with Allura shouting ‘ACTION STATIONS!” and Keith raised an eyebrow at Lance, but he just gave him a confident smile and thumbs-up, then he shrugged and left the Castle Ship as more flames engulfed the side of it.

**Author's Note:**

> From now on, kitchen fires are to be known as 'aurora borealis'


End file.
